2 Corinthians 4:7-12, 16-18
What an incredible three weeks have transpired ... and yet the battle has just begun. Yet God in His grace is giving us a very brief respite. Many of you know our dear family friends, Tom and Alison Argersinger and the amazing path they have walked over these past six years since she was first diagnosed with a most unusual cancer, endometrial stromal sarcoma, in April 2006. Have I said yet just how very much I hate sarcomas?!? At the time, she was one of only 300 cases in recorded history [this cancer was not even a known diagnosis when I was in medical school in the mid-80s ... so all those cases pre-dating the mid-1990s were likely just misdiagnosed]. Suffice it to say, in any case, it is still an incredibly rare cancer. She presented with stage 4 disease with involvement of the entire pelvis and abdomen including a very large metastatic lesion involving her cecum and distal ileum. It took over nine hours of a painstakingly laborious and tedious cytoreduction [debulking] procedure which also involved a radical hysterectomy as well as a resection of the cecum and terminal ileum [beginning of the colon/large intestine and the last part of the small intestine] by Dr. Linda S. Morgan, an amazing gynecological oncologist at Shands Hospital at the University of Florida followed by six years of careful surveillance and ongoing suppressive hormone therapy [Megace] to get Alison to this point. Thankfully until now, her cancer was "low grade." But six years ago the future could not have seemed any more bleak. The faithful prayers of so many of her friends and of our church, Four Oaks Community Church, played no small part in her amazing recovery. In fact, I have to date never witnessed such a powerful and prayerful send-off as occurred the night before she and Tom drove down to Gainesville, Florida for the above-mentioned surgical procedure. And she has experienced a most wonderful six years in remission.
That all changed when she presented to our clinic on Tuesday May 1 [as I was in-flight to a sports medicine conference in Phoenix, Arizona] with symptoms of profound anemia [hemoglobin was 7.8 g/dl ... or minus 5 units of blood] such as shortness of breath which was quite pronounced with minimal exercise, fatigue, rapid heart rate, lightheadedness and paleness. Thanks to the wonders of modern computer technology [VPN], I was able to initiate and manage her medical evaluation despite being almost an entire continent away. It came to a conclusion on my first day back in the office, Tuesday May 8 when she had a repeat CT scan of her abdomen and pelvis that showed a large 6 cm mass on her proximal jejunum [second part of the small intestine]. I saw her and Tom at the end of my clinic day ... nearly 6 PM to review the results with her and then sent her over to see my most trusted surgical confidant, Dr. Jeff Crooms, who also stayed late to consult with her. It was 6:30 PM when she got to his office. Subsequently, she was scheduled for surgery this past Monday May 14 due to him being out of town from May 9-12.
We were able to gather most of the elders of our church and their wives at our home last Sunday night to anoint Alison with oil and pray the fervent prayer of faith over her [see James 5:14] which proved to be both a very powerful and spiritually encouraging time for Tom, Alison and the rest of us. Then this past Monday morning she arrived at Tallahassee Memorial Hospital for the surgery. Her preoperative lab work had already revealed that she had lost another unit of blood [Hgb now down to 6.7 g/dl] and as a result she was transfused with 2 units of packed red bloods in the preoperative holding area.
It was not until about 3:30 PM that the surgery was able to commence due to unforeseen complexities in the cases ahead of her [it ended up being that kind of day for Dr. Crooms who did not finish his last case ... there were two more following Alison's ... until approximately 11:00 PM]. Imagine Alison's surprise when he rounded on her at 11:00 PM and had not yet left the hospital. Did I mention what an incredibly tireless and selfless guy he is ... I truthfully have never known a harder worker and have never found such an incredible combination of wisdom, skill, indefatigability, compassion and humility in another surgeon in my nearly 30 years of training and practice. He created a pneumoperitoneum [inflated her abdomen and pelvis with carbon dioxide gas] and inserted the laparoscope only to quickly find an extensive carcinomatosis [hundreds and even maybe thousands of small 1-3 mm tumors] in her abdomen and pelvis and then ultimately converted the procedure to an open exploratory laparotomy with resection of the involved portion of the jejunum along with its omentum and the carcinomatotic tumors in that section of small intestine. Due to his great skill, he was able to perform a direct end-to-end anastomosis [connection] of the two cut ends of jejunum and there was no more than 100 cc of further blood loss and her hemoglobin the following morning was up to 8.5 g/dl. Then it was just a waiting game for the pathology report to come in ... well, along with Alison needing to get off oxygen, intravenous patient-controlled anesthesia, intravenous fluids, ambulation, regaining control of her bladder and having her intestines reboot from top to bottom and her being able to eat again ... just the "small stuff" you know! She did beautifully across the board on each measure; so much so that she was discharged to home on Friday morning May 18. But all that week her hospital room became increasingly filled with gorgeous flowers with an incredible aroma ... by Wednesday night you could literally smell the aromatic bouquet from the nurses' station next door if Alison's door was open and the fragrance only intensified as the days passed. I think this may have been a metaphorical fulfillment of Tom's verse and prayer from her Sunday night anointing and intercession where he quoted 2 Corinthians 2:14-16: "But thanks be to God, who always leads in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life."
On Friday afternoon things began to get significantly more dicey. I spoke at length with Dr. Morgan immediately after her preliminary pathology report became available and related all the relevant details of Alison's case to her. Of course, like the rest of us here in Tallahassee, Linda was sorely disappointed to learn of the recent chain of events listed above and noted that we are likely now in a completely different treatment scenario [could be the understatement of the year]. After two conversations juxtaposed between two conversations with her TMH pathologist, Dr. Chris Price, Dr. Morgan scheduled Alison for a consultation appointment in Gainesville this coming Friday, May 25.
About that pathology report: her pathology came back again as an endometrial stromal
sarcoma, however the
cancer is now high grade. Amazingly, the intestinal lumen was nearly completely obstructed by the tumor yet she showed no symptoms of this ... at least not yet. It appears that God graced Alison with the symptoms of anemia that she presented with and allowed an expedited workup to quickly diagnose her and get her to the operating room. This prevented her from presenting instead with a small bowel obstruction which is incredibly painful, very dangerous and requires emergency surgery and most likely would result in a jejunostomy with its accompanying ostomy bag. In fact, several of the slides actually showed a complete obstruction so those emergent symptoms were imminent ... likely just a day or two away. How's that for awesome timing? God is never late.
This, however, is where it gets complicated. There is currently a dispute between Dr. Morgan [who is neither a pathologist nor has she seen the microscopic slides] and Dr. Chris Price the pathologist at TMH who is in charge of her case here] and I have spoken with both of them twice now. The cancer is still estrogen receptor positive [a good thing] but Dr. Price did not have progesterone receptor testing done. Dr. Morgan needs that and I was able to have Dr. Price order it. Those results should be back on Monday May 21. If both receptors remain positive there may be an option of just substituting the more modern hormone blocker Arimidex [a nonsteroidal aromatase inhibitor which basically inhibits estrogen formation in the body and is now used in place of tamoxifen, for those familiar with tamoxifen, in breast cancer patients] lieu of the Megace she currently takes … essentially trading more hot flashes for less appetite stimulation … virtually a lateral move and relatively easy-pezy.
This, however, is where it gets complicated. There is currently a dispute between Dr. Morgan [who is neither a pathologist nor has she seen the microscopic slides] and Dr. Chris Price the pathologist at TMH who is in charge of her case here] and I have spoken with both of them twice now. The cancer is still estrogen receptor positive [a good thing] but Dr. Price did not have progesterone receptor testing done. Dr. Morgan needs that and I was able to have Dr. Price order it. Those results should be back on Monday May 21. If both receptors remain positive there may be an option of just substituting the more modern hormone blocker Arimidex [a nonsteroidal aromatase inhibitor which basically inhibits estrogen formation in the body and is now used in place of tamoxifen, for those familiar with tamoxifen, in breast cancer patients] lieu of the Megace she currently takes … essentially trading more hot flashes for less appetite stimulation … virtually a lateral move and relatively easy-pezy.
The big dispute is in regards to all those small little
carcinomatosis tumors. Dr. Price did not mention those in his pathology
report but I specifically asked about them … there were several in the
section of small intestine sent to the lab. When asked, he said they
were also high grade. If this is true it is a gravely more serious situation. Dr. Morgan disputes this as she doesn’t see how it
can be possible that she would have thousands [though in this case
several] of these mutate simultaneously to high grade and yet only one
of them has grown large …. which totally makes sense to me. The tripwire here is that
these may be early metastatic high grade tumors [from the large jejunal
cancer]. Surely her entire abdomen/pelvis aren’t filled with these
though. However, it only takes one to be high grade to change the "game" [or at least one still left in her
abdomen … and there is no way possible to go get them all].
So we need a bit of divine wisdom here … a word of
knowledge or equivalent would be nice and I believe in order. I plan to
speak to Dr. Price again on Monday and ask that he specifically
re-examine the slides of those small lesions and make absolutely sure he
thinks they are high grade. Perhaps even have him send the slides with
Alison down to Shands to get their pathologists’ opinion and I may even
ask that they be sent to the AFIP [Armed Forces Institute of Pathology in Washington, DC] for their opinion … it is absolutely that critical we get this right.
Should she be high grade all the way then she will likely
need to be entered into a sarcoma chemotherapy treatment protocol either
at Shands Hospital in Gainesville or H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, and that, too, will require a bit of discernment
as to which one to select or that she be an appropriate candidate for.
These are notoriously very difficult to endure with marginal success rates from
my memory. Did I mention yet just how much I hate sarcomas?!? Yet I may soon be learning more than I ever wanted to know about sarcoma therapy.
And as all the above events unfolded over the past three weeks I kept finding myself questioning God as to why He is allowing this to occur? Haven't the Argersingers' already suffered enough? Where could He possibly find a more faithful family to Jesus and His kingdom [which is likely exactly why they are subjected to such frequent attack and affliction]. And amazingly it seems always to be so for those of us in the West. I can't help but keep being drawn back to Tom's and my experience in Cameroon, West Africa in 2003 where suffering was so much a part of their daily existence that it never seemed to catch them off-guard or surprise them. It was as if they lived literally expecting to suffer. And it was this very expectation that we both found so remarkable. It is almost never so in America where we are almost always caught off-guard when affliction comes. I think this is generally the default human position. So much so that the Apostle Peter found it necessary to remind his followers in 1 Peter 4:12, 13 to "not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."
The problem of human suffering goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden after the Fall and has plagued mankind since. Even Jesus promised that we would face suffering and persecution in this world before he ascended ... and no less than He was victimized by unjust suffering and persecution. Why now should it be any different for us? Is the servant above his master? And throughout history God has used the suffering of His people to effect His purposes and to glorify Himself ... from Job to Christ to now. The truth of it is, that affluence likely glorifies God much less than suffering ever will. Basically the entire treatise of 1 Peter is a manual on suffering ... which is the nature of living for God in a dark and depraved culture.
First, Peter tells us not to be surprised by suffering then James goes one step further exhorting us to "Consider it pure joy whenever we face trials of many kinds, because we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete not lacking anything." [1:2-4]. Again this is likely something we must be frequently reminded of because it is also counter to our human nature. Paul chimes in [Romans 5:3-5] "we rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us..." Even our pastor Erik Braun last Sunday noted that "our suffering is NOT a chink in our armor ... it is actually the strongest part of our armor." He even went so far as to remind us that our present and abiding comfort is NOT something that will last. None of us gets out of here alive and unscathed. Hmmm.
Why is this so? I go back to the scripture in the banner of this posting ... we are clay jars! Now, clay jars were the throwaway containers of the ancient world. So their lifespans were generally a few years at most. They were used to store and transport water and olive oil and wine and grain and even family treasures. Earthenware jars were an anonymous part of everyday living as they were used for cooking and eating and drinking and even storing leftovers. Every old world archaeological excavation site contains their remains, called ostraca, from the Greek word for pottery. No one took note of clay jars any more than we would of a pizza box. They were simply there for convenience. It was no great tragedy when such vessels were broken. They were cheap and easily replaced.
As such, jars of clay provided Paul with a penetrating metaphor for his and his followers' humanity. Indeed Adam was formed out of the dust of the ground, and to dust he returned [Genesis 2:7; 3:19]. As clay jars we are all frail, weak, transitory mortals. This understood, Paul's famous declaration pulses with meaning: "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us" [v. 7]. This "treasure" is the illuminating power ... described in the preceding verse as "the light" of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" ... that God provides with the full creation power with which He spoke things into existence. This "treasure," this creational, transforming gospel power, has been committed to insignificant, fragile followers of Christ ... men and women who, like Paul, are all clay pots.
The reason for this, of course, is so there will be no mistake about where the power comes from -- "to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." This is not a casual admission. This is Christian realism. We are never powerful in ourselves but are only vessels in which God's power is exhibited. It is only as we embrace our weakness that God fills us with His power so that it is His power that is manifested through us. We do not become powerful. We remain weak. We do not grow in power. We grow in weakness. We go from weakness to weakness, which allows us to remain vessels of His power -- ever weak and yet ever strong.
Then in verses 8 and 9 Paul gives us four parallel paradoxes that all illustrate his experience of the clay pot axiom in his own life -- namely that weakness invites strength. These paradoxes are almost autobiographical of his constant experience. At the same time, they touch on the biography of each of us who are committed Christian disciples. Each of these paradoxes ascend in both intensity of weakness but also its counter in power.
First, "we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed" [v. 8a], The earthen vessel of Paul's life was "afflicted" in the radical sense of pressured, which is best represented by the word squeezed. He had many such experiences in his life of ministry but each time his pressured weakness was met with God's power and he was "not crushed."
Second, he was "perplexed but not driven to despair" [v. 8b]. R. Kent Hughes notes that in Greek these words form a rhyming word play [aporoumenoi ... exaporoumenoi] as the second word intensifies the first. Various attempts have been made to capture the word play in English -- "at a loss, but not at a loss [Tasker], "in despondency, yet not in despair" [Plummer], "confused but not confounded" [Hughes]. Some think Dr. Tenney said it best when he said "bewildered but not befuddled."
Third, Paul was "persecuted, but not forsaken" [v. 9a]. Paul knew what it was like to be persecuted [literally, "pursued" or "hunted down"], but he was never forsaken by God, as the Old Testament background of this word indicates. God cannot forsake His chosen vessels. Even when Jesus prophetically cried out from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" [Psalm 22:1; Mark 15:34], He knew that He would not be abandoned to the grave. And more, God will not forsake any of His people, for they are redeemed by the blood of His Son. Paul was absolutely confident of God's abiding presence regardless of how or where he was hounded and hunted.
Fourth, the intensity of the paradoxes peaks in the final expression, "struck down, but not destroyed" [v. 9b]. As used here, "struck down" means as by a weapon -- we might use the word "whacked". But Paul was not destroyed. Rather he was quickly back up on his feet. We know of one of these events in Lystra where he was hunted down and ritually stoned. Then his body was dragged outside the city to rot. But to the astonishment of his followers, Paul's eyes re-opened and he popped up and led them back into Lystra [Acts 14:19, 20].
Again, "we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that surpassing power belongs to God and not to us" [v. 7]. It wasn't that Paul in each case reached down into his own soul, sucked it up, and became THE MAN. It was never his strength. It was God's. Paul's weakness was the occasion for God's power. Paul remained an earthen pot, and a cracked pot at that:) as his crumbling flesh allowed the power of God to shine so brightly.
Finally, Paul deepens his point by instructing the Corinthian church that his experience of power through weakness was, in effect, like that of Jesus in His death [weakness] and His resurrection [power]. He summed up his paradoxical experiences with a radically Christ-focused statement: "always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies" [v. 10]. To understand this we must note very carefully that the word rendered "death" here refers more to the process of dying rather than to the final state of death. It was more like Paul carried about in his body the dying of Jesus as he lived out his missionary calling. Paul concluded his letter to the Galatian church by saying, "From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus" [6:17]. Indeed, Jesus by virtue of His solidarity with Paul intimately knew those sufferings. In fact, Jesus could have said to Paul's persecutors, "Why are you persecuting Me?" just as He had once said to Saul [Paul] on the Damascus road [Acts 9:4].
Though bearing in his body the killing of Jesus was part of Paul's experience of ministering the new covenant, it was not an end in itself. We who serve Jesus share in His dying "so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies" [v. 10b]. This refers both to the here and now and to the life hereafter. Those who observed Paul saw the life of Christ in the amazing power that was displayed through Paul's weakness as he was not crushed and not driven to despair and not forsaken nor destroyed. In the same way, the life of Christ is manifested in the lives of those who truly follow Him just as Alison and Tom have done for decades. And ultimately, these realities will be manifested in all their full-blown glory in our final deliverance from mortality in the great resurrection of the dead.
To further emphasize these great truths, Paul repeats himself again in stronger terms: "For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh" [v. 11]. Hughes notes that this is the same language used to describe Jesus being handed over to His enemies for crucifixion [Mark 9:31; 10:33]. We can take great comfort knowing then that the sufferings of those who follow Christ are not haphazard or random but are, instead, part of the divine plan for the spread of His gospel. It remains God's will that His frail jars of clay be used to show that the surpassing power belongs ultimately and only to God Himself.
And it is in this eternal and universal truth that Alison, Tom, our school community [Community Christian] and our church [Four Oaks] can take ultimate solace and refuge. Alison's health situation [and for that matter, the cancer diagnosis our dear friend Debora Passetti just received] did not take God by surprise nor are they beyond His control. Instead, it is in these very sufferings that we are both most weak [sharing the fellowship of Christ's sufferings] and most strong [sharing the amazing power of His resurrection] as Paul so beautifully described in Philippians 3:10.
I have no idea how Alison's situation will turn out in the end, but I do know that I am quite fond of this particular clay pot and will do anything and everything in my power to make it go well for her and to see her physically restored to health ... but alas, I am just another clay pot as well. Ultimately, Alison future rests solely in God's hands and we can rest in the knowledge that there is NO doubt He will use her illness to advance His kingdom and that just as He promised in Romans 8:28, He will cause it to work together for both her good and His glory. And in that we all have great hope!
Author's Note [May 24]: I sent the first draft of this blog [everything preceding this point] to Tom and Alison by e-mail on Sunday May 20 and asked that they read through it and give me their blessing on publishing it since it is the most deeply personal of subjects [literally their lives] and while they were supportive of the content they asked that its publication be delayed until at least after their consultation with Dr. Linda S. Morgan tomorrow morning [May 25]. I have honored their request and will not publish until I receive their permission and blessing.
And it's off to Shands GYN Oncology they go tomorrow. I wonder what it must be like to be in Alison's and Tom's shoes tonight and especially tomorrow morning. In many ways, it seems to me to be like an innocent defendant the night prior to learning the jury's verdict the following morning with the sentencing to follow immediately. And have no doubt, Alison is innocent and, in fact, in very many ways the perfect patient. But we have an advocate, one the writer of Hebrews describes as a "a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God ... who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, one who has been tempted in every way, just as we have but yet without sin." One who was truly perfect in every way, and yet who stood in front of Pilate and the Sanhedrin and received both a scourging and a death sentence that He surely didn't deserve. And yet it was because of history's greatest injustice that any of us here have any hope of true and lasting glory. So whatever God has planned for Tom and Alison no one can say that He treated His only Son any better ... at least not in this temporal world. Of course on the other side, Paul tells us in Philippians 2 that God "has exalted Him [Jesus] to the highest place and gave Him a name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus Christ every knee shall bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
These remain the timeless and eternal truths of the ages. Men may rise and men may fall but God remains ruler of them all. And yet He loves us perfectly and unconditionally despite the fallen state He finds us in. He works tirelessly to perfect us for His son our groom. And He works to spread His kingdom in the hearts of men choosing incredibly to use us, simple jars of clay that we be. And despite the throw away nature of such shards of pottery, God has chosen to place in each of us His very image. And that is and always has been our lasting glory. He loves His creation and He loves the Argersingers especially. And He will work together for good His perfect plan in their lives. We can all count on that.
So what have I learned since last Sunday? A new pathologist has entered the picture [I don't even know for sure whatever became of Dr. Chris Price except that as of Monday he was "unavailable" for a few days]. Dr. Chuck Manning filled in nicely and seemed eager to get to the "truth" of her case [as much as it can be available for finite man to understand the "truth."] The progesterone receptor testing ultimately came back positive and for that we were all thankful. So neither of those [estrogen receptor or progesterone receptor] have changed since 2006. That, however, was the simple task.
What about the all important grade of the cancer ... especially the small carcinomatosis tumors that her treatment plan will ultimately hinge on? This is where it gets tenuous in my mind. Dr. Manning felt that there was a distinct decrease in the aggressiveness of these tumors compared to the large jejunal cancer. There were fewer mitotic figures per high powered field, smaller overall cell size, decreased cellularity, fewer visible nucleoli, less "spindly" spindle cells [this may be more my word than his] ... but there remained no doubt that it was a still a sarcoma though. I get the feeling that if there were such a classification as "intermediate" grade that is the one that he would select. But when push came to shove he felt that it was more "low" grade than it was "high" grade. So that I think leads us to a cautiously optimistic outlook pending tomorrow's appointment. I asked that he have her pathology slides sent to Shands in advance of Alison's consultation tomorrow so that they may be reviewed by both Dr. Morgan and their best sarcoma pathologist and left the door open for referral to the AFIP as a final court of appeal so to speak. It just seems so critically important to precisely establish the grading since it will be our taking off point and to make as few assumptions as we possibly can make prior to developing her proposed treatment course.
As for me, her case is now out of my hands [in reality, was it ever really in "my" hands? No not really ... it has always ultimately been in His hands] ... and like the rest of my friends, all I can now do is pray. Which, perhaps, has always been the most powerful thing in my and your armamentariums. Sadly, I still too often forget this ... but Alison's case has repeatedly served as a frequent reminder and I have found myself praying more frequently throughout the day over the past three weeks since I returned from Phoenix. Pretty much every time her face crossed my mind. And that has been a lot! And that's a good thing. I know for sure that now is certainly not the time to grow weary in our intercessory prayer life. And so I'll stop for now and pray again.
Friday Evening 6:00 PM: I have just spoken with my dear sweet friend, Alison, and the news she bears is good. Dr. Morgan was mostly upbeat and the take away question for Alison was "do you have 4 or 5 more of these surgeries in you?!?" How great is that!?! Translation ... she feels that Alison is most likely still "low grade" and wonders if this large tumor is really "high grade" itself since the high grade cancers generally are at least progesterone receptor negative. Six years ago Alison had a significantly larger such cancer in the cecum and terminal ileum than this "puny" 6 cm mass in the jejunum so perhaps she is going to be a candidate for the "easy-pezy" Arimidex therapy after all. Dr. Morgan wants her to remain on the Megace for another month and then perhaps switch over ... this to avoid the increased risk of clotting associated with Arimidex [especially freshly post-op]. In the meantime, she is planning to have Alison's slides over-read by the AFIP [I believe] for a third opinion as well as have the Shands Pathology Department render their own opinion. But her "gut" [and she trusts her gut a lot ... as I do mine ... I just have no other experience with this cancer so my gut is a blank] tells her this is still a low grade sarcoma [remember she has seen this before ... and not many can say that]. So we are going with this opinion ... at least until we have significant evidence pointing in the other direction. I believe Alison will restart the followup surveillance CT carousel again in three months ... but we are all rejoicing here in Tallahassee ... this is a ride we know and one that will, God-willing, allow Alison to meet her grandchildren while still here on terra firma! And hopefully allow Tom and Alison to celebrate their 30th anniversary somewhere glorious and not in an hospital chemotherapy infusion center! Thank you Jesus!
