We are always living out of some sense of identity ... as people it is what we do. The way we answer the eternal question "who am I?" will have incredible influence over all that we say and do. It is not surprising that identity issues come to the forefront of our lives in adolescence [I think this is one of the major reasons Jesus identified so much with children and encouraged us to become like them ... children are probably the most secure of all people in their identities ... they of all people I know seem to best know who they are and are the most comfortable with it]. What is more surprising, however, is that nearly all of us continue to struggle with our identities throughout the rest of our lives to one degree or another. The struggles of mid-life are in many ways are return to adolescence in that they are primarily struggles with identity. When we begin to understand this, we will have come a long way in finding our way out of that dense fog.
Think about how much of the drama of the biblical story is ultimately tied to identity. There is a real way in which the fall of Adam and Eve was about forgetting [or rejecting] who they really were. They were creatures of God who attempted to take on a whole new identity. Much of the drama of the Old Testament centers on whether or not the nation of Israel would live inside their identities as the children of God. Or would they be wooed by other identities and end up worshiping the idols of the surrounding nations? In the same way, the drama of the later New Testament is primarily about whether the church of Jesus Christ would understand what it meant to be "in Christ," in the middle of a world that exalts many other identities.
The biblical story is essentially a story of identity given, identity lost and identity restored. God wants us to know who we are and to live out the practical implications of the identities He has given to us in Him. This why Scripture is constantly telling us who we are. As sinners we tend to suffer from identity amnesia to one degree or another. In 2 Peter 1:8-9, Peter essentially couples "blind unfruitfulness" with this issue of identity saying in so many words, "Your lives are unproductive because you have forgotten who you are." The reality is that this identity amnesia in the body of Christ can almost paralyze the church and thus becomes one of the principal tools employed by our enemy against us. And both sadly and amazingly, he has been doing this since the Garden.
The problem with identity amnesia is that if not quickly recognized it eventually gives way to something much more dangerous: identity replacement. If we forget who we truly are, our true identities will ultimately fail to shape our response to the people and situations that we encounter in this life and we will ultimately fill that identity void with something else. Our "made to worship and serve the Creator" identity first given to us in the Garden gives way to the "I can be like God" identity of the serpent's deception. No one ever lives without an identity. The problem though is that we often aren't even aware of our identities at any given time and identity migration in our hearts can happen ever so subtly that it often goes unnoticed. It is not like one day we wake up and say to ourselves, "You know, I am tired of the identity that I've been carrying around all these years. I think today I will trade it in for a newer, better, cooler identity." No, our identities get replaced more at the amnesia level than the conscious level. We almost never see it happening.
The more people I see in my journey who have lost their way in life the more I am convinced that it almost always comes down to the fundamental issue of identity. One of my nurses is currently going through this in her life right now ... she just separated from her husband three weeks ago at the culmination of a three year walk into the darkness. This was accompanied by a two year diet and fitness program coupled with a profound weight loss and a couple of cosmetic surgeries as the physical appearance idol was resurrected. And yet I have never seen her more miserable. On top of this, I just counseled a 45 year-old woman two days ago who feels "defrauded" after she moved to Tallahassee thirty months ago to marry a man [both are believers] who is more of a roommate to her now. He is totally unsympathetic to her needs as a wife and companion and is instead focused solely on the needs of his three psychologically hurting daughters following his divorce from their mother who four years ago ran off with another man and moved to Texas. They almost never see their mother any more. Sadly, his new marriage is about to careen off a cliff and he doesn't [won't is probably the more correct word] even see it coming. And worst of all, his girls are about to be devastated a second time. He doesn't know who he is. He is still living in a previous identity ... one that will never be again.
Mid-life crisis is clearly and inextricably connected to identity demise and identity replacement. We have been seduced by false identities that will always fail us, and when they do, it feels like we have lost ourselves. We may have thought that we knew who we were but then in a flash it all becomes completely foggy. And suddenly we are flying by instruments. Only those who are secure in their identity in Christ will be able to navigate this successfully. Their faith becomes their instrument of "seeing." Visual flight rules no longer apply. Disorientation and vertigo are the rule. Our senses can no longer be trusted. Those who insist on flying by what they feel almost always fly right into the ground. This goes all the way back to the Garden with Adam and Eve, the wandering Israelites in the wilderness, the Israelite army wilting in the face of Goliath's taunts and the Philistine army [David, however, was secure in his identity as a child of God and was singlehandedly able to win the day] and even the Apostle Peter in Galatia as he deserted the Gentile believers when James arrived on the scene, because he was afraid of what the Jewish believers would think about his open fellowship with these "uncircumcised believers." Yes, ours is a history of identity, identity lost and hopefully identity restored.
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